


Earth Unsolved Postmortem: Nightblood Hunters

by BeaRyan



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, talk show format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27624344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeaRyan/pseuds/BeaRyan
Summary: Alternative to season seven.  Murphy and Raven host a Buzzfeed Unsolved like show that teaches Earth history.  This transcript is from the "postmortem" where they answer follow up questions from their viewers.
Relationships: Spacekru - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Earth Unsolved Postmortem: Nightblood Hunters

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not coming back to this idea, so if anyone feels inspired by the concept please do pick it up and play with it. I think it originally came from some chatter on Tumblr.

Raven: Hello and welcome to another edition of Earth Unsolved Postmortem, the show where we answer your most pressing questions about the most recent episode of Earth Unsolved which was Nightblood Hunters. All the questions we’re answering today came from you guys via the question box in the bar, the intraweb contact network, and by stopping us in town. 

Murphy: Glad to be here. Can you believe we’ve done six of these and people actually watch them?

Raven: I can. Humanity branched for several hundred years, and the people who weren’t on Earth have some natural curiosity about what happened on their home planet while they were gone. 

Murphy: They’re nosy. 

Raven: They’re curious. 

Murphy: Curiosity killed the cat. 

Raven: Since there are no cats on Sanctum we don’t have much to worry about.

Murphy: Also killings are way down since cults went out of fashion. 

Raven: *sighs* Moving on, our first question comes to us from Prisonkru420. “So priests would go out and just snatch little kids and do whatever they wanted with them and people were OK with it? That’s fucked up.” 

Murphy: I concur. It is fucked up. 

Raven: You aren’t helping. I included this question to remind everyone that while our show is permitted as academic inquiry the Unity Accords require us all to reflect on how our words and judgements could damage the overall community we’ve established here on Sanctum. 

Murphy: So to translate if people walk up to Gaia The Baby Snatcher, who is also the daughter of one of the Earthkru faction leaders, and tell her she did some truly demented things because she was overly invested in an out of control LARP, well, that doesn’t make her want to sing Kum Bye Ya and could get our show shut down. 

Raven: Correct. 

Murphy: Got it. Talk shit get hit remains the rule of the land. Just remember folks, it isn’t always you who gets hit. 

Raven: This question is from MapThat. They ask, “How big an area were we talking about? If Gaia and the other nightblood hunters didn’t get all the baby nightbloods in a thousand square miles and a population of millions that’s different from missing two kids in an area the size of Sanctum.”

Murphy: It was bigger than Sanctum. I think of the people on this moon, except for maybe Echo, I covered the most ground. There was desert, rivers, larger bodies of water that could have been ocean or bay, a couple types of forest, some rocky bits as well as towns, villages, and one city, Polis. 

Raven: There was more than one city. And, according to Echo in winter when people gathered together Troit was an even more populous city than Polis.

Murphy: So the nightblood hunters had to pick through a lot of people and they were spread out. Did we ever get numbers or a map?

Raven: We have multiple maps generated with the input of many people, however, since the starter copies we have from the prison ship and Sanctum were made before the bombs and don’t reflect the changes in topography that were experienced after the first apocalypse we don’t have a good map of the Kru boundaries.

Murphy: Did the Krus agree on their boundaries?

Raven: What the Krus agreed on depends on who you ask and how you ask it. 

Murphy: Also how much they’ve had to drink before you ask them. Bellamy’s Bar Anthropology Project has yielded some interesting results. 

Raven: Can you give an example?

Murphy: We all know the Flame changed in meaning over time, but it’s not just chips that can go in unexpected directions. On the Ark “Never trust a big butt and a smile” meant your black market transaction was risky. For Prison Kru it’s a line in a song. 

Raven: I have never heard this expression.

Murphy: It’s because you have a small butt and never smile. Our next question comes to us from Diyoza. 

Raven: You’re smiling in a way I don't like. 

Murphy: As I said, these words are from Diyoza. I’m just reading them. “What kind of person hands over their baby to train for a battle to the death knowing that the reward for not dying immediately is constant misery and death threats?” 

Raven: We are allowed to come together to learn, not to judge. 

Murphy: We judge in private. Firmly. Scornfully. With disgust. 

(Offscreen someone clears their throat loudly.)

Raven: And that’s the end of today’s learning session. Provided Murphy apologizes and promises to be a good boy -

Murphy: As I do every week - 

Raven: Every week he promises - 

Murphy: I do it for the people. 

Raven: *sighs again* As I was saying, provided we’re allowed to return next week's topic is radiation sensitivity. 

Murphy: Tricky stuff that radiation. It’s everyone’s favorite source of face melting and best combatted with sludge blood. 

Raven: None of that is scientifically accurate. 

(Murphy laughs) Murphy: You said "Scientifically accurate." 

Raven: Say goodnight, Murphy. 

Murphy: Goodnight, Murphy.


End file.
